Startling Stories for All Ages
This just in from D, on her travels through the Bible Belt. Good to know someone has made zombie abatement part of his current business model. Other services available from Shawn Hinkley and his hardworking crew include:
Zombie Removal must fall under that last one. Call for pricing.
The headline pretty much says it all, though the standard disclaimer applies: Don’t try this at home.
(Having some trouble embedding the video. I’ll figure this out soon. Meanwhile, click the link.)
Three things immediately come to mind —
1) How long has there been a “Slingshot Channel”?
2) How soon before the Machete Slingshot makes it into a movie?
3) It was kind of a cop-out for Goldfinger to be shooting at a defenseless piece of cardboard. He should have gone after something dangerous like a watermelon. Or a kitty.
Just sayin’ . . .
From the “Too Bad It’s April 14th” File:
The Daily Mail reports this rather odd juxtaposition of a billboard ad for the Channel 5 repeat of The Walking Dead on a Co-op Funeral Home in North East England.
Clear Channel has since removed the ad.
Too bad.
For those interested, here is the link to Co-Operative Funeralcare, the UK’s largest funeral director.
They couldn’t buy press like this.
(story courtesy of the fine folks at Bleeding Cool)
Found this beauty while researching USMC bolo machetes for a little project that’s in the works.
You’re looking at the Condor CT-5 — a 22-inch machete cut from 1095 spring steel. (The good stuff, or so I read.) Figure in the full tang and overall length is 27.5 inches. Just the kind of quality instrument one best have when dealing with the undead. Or heavy jungle. Or Whatever.
My 6-year old was next to me while I was looking these over so, naturally, I had to explain what a machete was, how it was different from a sword, and why I wanted one.
The wife tells me, “You don’t need a machete.”
The kid tells her, “Sure he does!”
That’s my girl . . .
Also found something called a bush cutlass, which looks like a cavalry saber for ninjas. The knuckle guard is nice . . . so is the point. Good for getting at the brain through the eye socket. But will the narrow blade hold up against zombie skulls?
Guess there’s only one way to find out.
Look for more edged weapons and other survival gear here:
Just click the image and you’ll zip right over.
“I’m dead, Jim.”
Today’s the 7th, so I can officially unleash my review. Read on. Contest details at the bottom.
Night of the Living Trekkies is a fluffy book, like popcorn or cotton candy, or a tribble, I suppose. There are no real surprises here. It is good, old-fashioned comfort reading.
The story has the rhythm of any modern zombie film, keeps all the necessary beats. But instead of a rag-tag group of strangers desperate to save their individual skins, this is a rag-tag group of sci-fi geeks applying the Star Trek philosophy of “a better world though friendly cooperation” to their survival. And it works, for the most part. There are also a handful of the usual narrative standards: Reluctant Hero Rises to his Destiny, Saves His Friends, Defeats the Enemy and Gets The Girl. We know they’re going to get out of this; it’s just a matter of how.
The guys who wrote Night of the Living Trekkies certainly did their homework. Trek references and inside jokes abound, especially in the first seventy-or-so pages of set-up. And keeping with Star Trek’s overall target audience, NotLT seems to have been penned for a PG-13 crowd. The zombie action is light and, keeping with the property’s sci-fi trappings, the weapons of choice tend toward Tasers and blades. Guns are used, though sparingly.
While the story skates to the beat and rhythm of a zombie movie, the overall story traces a parabola consistent with any of the Star Trek shows and/or films and nearly all the right people are alive by the end. The chapters are short, the action is fast, the writing is serviceable — all work to keep the pages flipping. (I finished it in about five hours and I’m a slow reader.) The characters are generally likable, even the Jerk who eventually devolves into The Bad Guy. But even so, he is not despicable. There is a wide line between being an ass and being evil, and in this book, that line never gets crossed.
Night of the Living Trekkies has plenty of enemies in it, but no real Villain, which may be this tale’s missing ingredient. The zombies have no motive other than to consume and infect. They are simply the Enemy. The Jerk who turns into the Bad Guy does so mainly because he is infected and taken over by the thing creating the zombies. The one guy who might serve as a Villain is explained too late for him to have been effective and a lot of air is let out of his balloon when it’s realized he’s not in control of his own actions, anyway.
The story wraps up nice & tidy, all loose ends cut or cauterized, with the Hero and his pals facing a Bright Though Uncertain Future. They are us and we are them. The same could be said for the zombies. But this is, after all, a Star Trek story.
So — time to apply my patented evaluation device, ““The Three Best Things Anybody Can Ever Say About Any Book”:
Was it worthy of the time I spent reading it? — Oddly, yes. Like I said, the pages turned quickly and I was entertained for pretty much the entire story.
Would I pay full cover price, including applicable sales taxes? — For myself, no. If I was buying it as a gift, sure.
Would I give this book as a gift? — Yes.
CONTEST! WIN A FREE BOOK AND POSTER! TWO LUCKY WINNERS!
Books are books and should be given freely. Share a book and share yourself.
Or something like that.
So, rather than make my faithful readers do anything untoward, I figure to just give the book/poster combos to the first two who comment on this post.
Don’t put your address in the comments! I’ll get back to you via email and work out how to get you the goods.
Good luck and thanks for reading.