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Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of Sell-Outs

April 25, 2008 By Bradley Weber

Anybody who’s talked to me for more than 45 seconds will tell you that I can be a pretty harsh critic. This is especially true of comic books and movies. Bring up either topic and settle in for some serious un-varnished truthifying about the sorry state of mainstream storytelling in both industries.

For years, these two have been traveling hand-in-hand down the deeply rutted road to Stupidsville, riding first-class atop bales of crisp cash, picked fresh and green from consumer pockets.

The stories these clowns have been feeding the public are tantamount to narrative fast food — a steady diet high in saturated schmaltz and saccharine full of empty promises, wasted time, and perfect for replacing mental muscle with synaptic flab.

The Dark Knight no es sabroso

April 20, 2008 By Bradley Weber

What’s a 16C Spanish Monarch have to do with Batman? Uhhhhh . . . .

Another new candy bar at my grocery store today: Nestle’s CARLOS V. Why every Holy Roman Emperor doesn’t have a candy bar named after him, I don’t know. Maybe they lack the same marketing engines employed by baseball players, NASCAR drivers, and other religious icons.

According to the fine people over at Candy Snob, the CARLOS V seems to be a re-release of an older confection. Why? Something to do with the packaging, perhaps????

and the zoom-shot

What’s the connection? Is there one?

Nothing I’ve read indicates Charles V was known as “El Caballero Oscuro”; his parents didn’t die in a robbery-gone-bad; nor did young Charlie develop a predilection for high-tech gadgetry and vigilante justice; all of which leaves me flummoxed how Nestle might justify tagging this candy with the ‘Dark Knight’ moniker.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. How’s the candy?

Right.

Unlike my encounter with the Big Mo’, I bought this particular ticket and took the ride. The first bite of the CARLOS V is dry and overly sweet, like Eucharist crumbles stirred in a package of Swiss Miss, but not as tasty. The second’s even worse.

At two-for-a-dollar, the CARLOS V is still a rip-off — that is unless you plan to give them to lousy neighbors or hated co-workers in the hope that bad candy will drive them the hell away from you. Then it’s a bargain.

But if you like candy and dig the chocolate/wafer combo, stick to Kit-Kats.

Kirk vs. Cthulhu?

April 13, 2008 By Bradley Weber

I’ve just finished reading Tales Of H.P. Lovecraft, a collection of the master’s shorter works selected and introduced by Joyce Carol Oates. (With some nice cover art by Mike Mignola, creator of the steampunk-tastic, Amazing Screw-On Head!)

Tales is a nice intro to Lovecraft’s mad and lonely world. The ten stories showcase what I imagine are some of the man’s best (and most accessible?) efforts, but also provide a Whitman’s Sampler of what has become known as The Cthulhu Mythos.

The central tenant of Lovecraft’s ‘pseudomythology’ is that Earth has been repeatedly invaded and populated over the eons by a series of alien races. In fact, “At The Mountains Of Madness,” hints that everything living here — plants, animals, humans — evolved from some ancient Elder Things’ experiments that were left to run wild.

So, if they (the Old Ones/Elder Things, Outer Gods, etc., etc.), are of outer space, and for as far and wide as the Enterprise ranged over the years, you’d think sometime, somewhere, Kirk & Co. would have come across these star-spawn, or at the very least, the degenerate remains of their home worlds.

I went looking for Star Trek/Cthulhu Mythos stories — authorized or fan fic — but my Interwebbular searches availed naught.

Has anyone written or found anything in this vein? If so, I humbly request your links. Please add them to the Comments section.

Many thanks.

( Kirk image courtesy of these nice people, Cthulhu image courtesy of this guy.)

The Great Comic Book Plague: some follow-up

April 10, 2008 By Bradley Weber

“Man, I need this like I need another . . . . Oh, wait.”

Below are a few items relevant to my April 9th post regarding the trouble with ignoring/forgetting the historicity of Frederick Wertham’s crusade against comics.:

—- Varney’s reply to my rebuttal. (I’m still considering a response.)

—- The New Republic’s ultra-cool slide show of ’50s horror comics covers. While only eight in the deck, each is a fine example of the lack of restraint publishers showed during the period. (original link via BoingBoing)

Of particular interest is the cover for Mister Mystery #12 and it’s strong use of the ‘injury-to-eye-motif’, which was a big story element in that era.

I can’t help but wonder if that particular theme/meme helped sell more comics, similar to former DC Editor Julius Schwartz’s maxim that any comic will sell better with a gorilla on its cover.

(image courtesy Greg Hyland over at LethargicLad.com)

Also —- if you’re into the whole Wertham argument, there looks to be the start of a debate between Ten-cent Plague author David Hajdu and pop culturalist and comics/graphic novel theoretician Douglas Wolk.

Click here to read Wolk’s initial volley.

Equal Time: a rebuttal

April 9, 2008 By Bradley Weber

(image courtesy of Dial B for Blog)

(update April 13, 2010: had do disable comments on this because of the massive amounts of spam. If you have something to say about this post or want to add to the discussion, send me an email via the ABOUT page or comment on another post and I’ll transfer it over. Thanks. bjw)

Stopped by The Church Of Shiny Objects blog the other day, just to see what my pal Varney’s been up to.

Chris turns a good phrase, lately in the service of movie reviews, sports commentary, and other pop culture consumables.

In the April 7th entry, Equal Time, Chris briefly discusses a Slate article referencing Dr. Frederick Wertham and the 1954 comic book witch trials as discussed in David Hajdu’s new book The Ten-Cent Plague: The Great Comic-Book Scare and How It Changed America.

Chris’s notes read fine until the concluding paragraph:

Wertham is well on his way to being utterly forgotten . . . . we should do nothing to slow that course from finishing itself out.

And I’m thinking that’s not such a good idea.

Why?

To quote the oft mis-quoted George Santayana: Those who cannot learn from history are doomed to repeat it.

Never mind the inability to learn one’s history. Deliberately allowing it to be ‘utterly forgotten’ is an even surer ticket to Doomsville.

Why remember Wertham?
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